Surly Snobby

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Javasaurus Eats the World

Warning: this entry isn’t as funny as the previous ones, so skip to them in you’re in search of my more humorous side. If not, read on ...

Today is a day of grump and crank. Yesterday’s stomach flu seems to have turned into a full-body flu (substitute "flu" with "massage given by 4 really hot, naked guys" and Snobby’s feelings on the day may improve). I feel a little like I’ve been buried to my neck in sand every time I move. But at least I have an excuse not to look for a job today!

This morning, the word doesn’t seem like such a great place. I sat down to try and understand the new federal budget, and I don’t. However, I have been assured by the ruling Liberal Party Dynasty that it is a budget for me and for all the citizens of this fair land. So why can’t I understand it?

And then I sat down in front of the TV to try and watch the debate on this new federal budget. Have you ever tried to sit down and watch these guys "debate" (please understand that I’m using that term very lightly here)? Parliamentary proceedings are full of bluster, bogus idealism, and smug self-satisfaction and I should really know better by now than to watch them. Predictably, after about 10 minutes I transformed into Javasaurus and threw things at the TV (small, soft things (like the cat – just joking, you PETA freaks!) – no hurting the sacred image box).

And when one is already feeling not so hot, the sure-fire cure is, of course, to catch up on current events…specifically, Middle-Eastern events. Brilliant idea. That’ll cure what ails ya.

I have been following a feature on the BBC homepage in which two working moms, one from Israel and the other from Egypt, have an email correspondence. "Great," I said to myself at the first instalment, "maybe real people will be able to make a difference in the Middle-East where blustering, bogus, smugly self-satisfied statesman do not." Well, at only the fourth instalment the two moms are already sniping at each other about the legitimacy of the State of Israel and the treatment of Palestinians. They don't seem all that interested in finding out much more about one another (well, one did – but she got shot down enough to have lost interest). So if real, thinking people can’t even find any common ground before tacking the more difficult issues, where is the hope?

Then I played that baby allosaurus game for a while to give myself that feeling of empowerment and control that only being a ferocious, bloodthirsty beastie can give. But I kept starving to death and once I was eaten by a lizard. So much for empowerment.

But I have to say that at least I live in a country where I can scrutinize the federal budget and can watch the politicians I vote for make fools of themselves. At least I live in a world where an Israeli woman and an Egyptian woman can have instant communication, even if it’s difficult communication. And at least I live in a world where I can pretend to be a dinosaur and go clomping through the forest in search of prey to devour messily, and then get up and fix myself a pot of chicken noodle soup – which I’m going to do now.

Bon journée, les amis!

Haphazardly thrown together by Surly
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