Surly Snobby

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Lord Snobby

I don’t know what to write today. I actually got a few emails from people asking where I was, so I guess I must satisfy my public. You guys are so demanding :-P But I have writer’s block today so bear with me for a chunky, clunky entry. I will be smooth and philosophical tomorrow, I promise.

First, I may have to change my name. No, I am not entering the witness protection programme; it’s much less glamorous than that. One of the reasons it’s taken me so long to become Snobby today (as opposed to just plain ol’ snobby, which I always am), is that I spent the day volunteering at my two HIV/AIDS organizations). This morning was being a librarian at organization #1. It’s very quiet and very contemplative and it’s very much like working in a library. I sign some people onto the computers. Then I organize some journals. And then I tell some other people that it’s time to get off their computers. Then I make up a list of overdue books. Nothing too challenging nor too tedious.

I think I scare the real librarian (she libraries for pay, whereas I merely library for free – my lack of money makes me fake, I guess) with my rather brash sense of humour. Apparently my humour can sometimes be sarcastic? Who knew? My preferred view is that I have a talent for pointing out the foibles and quirks of the universe in a myriad of creative and thought-provoking ways. Anyways, I will have to devise ways to get her to laugh, not stop mid-conversation trying to figure out if she’s offended me.

This afternoon was tedious data entry time for some pledge drive at organization #2. Sitting still through data entry is bad enough, but the programme is run by a very exuberant guy who borders on condescending with his hearty good cheer. For example, today I made a typo. I can input data but when it comes to words, I am ironically one of the world’s worst typists. I usually catch mistakes before they’re irretrievably sent out into the universe to fester and moulder. Today, however, I typed “receopt” instead of “receipt”. When he caught it he went into a little fit trying to convince me not to fret, he also has been known to misspell words, apparently, and I have to know that all he really asks of me is that I continue to try my best.

Now, would I really be Snobby if I let a speech like that go without recoiling in offence? I mean, does he really think I believe you spell the word “receopt”? He has no clue of all the magnificent accomplishments I’ve done with my life, both personal and professional. The mountains of diversity over which I have clambered to arrive where I am today. But I decided not to enlighten him at that particular time. He’ll learn…he’ll learn…

Instead, I’ll get my revenge by getting the job I applied for at organization #2 and slash his budget by 50%. Then he’ll rue the day he patronized me.

Yes, Snobby has applied for a job. Apparently, organization #2 is looking for someone to do the type of job I was doing in Montreal, except this one is in English and it pays better. One of the people who decides who gets the job is one of the directors for whom I provide admin support once a week, and she was the one who strongly encouraged me to apply. So, like, what the hell? I should get a job, but I’m ok without one for now. So what harm could it do?

Does "Snobby'n'Employed" have the same ring as "Snobby'n'Unemployed"? Is this the end of life as we know it? An employed Snobby seems to go against the Way of Nature, so I may actually rip a hole in the very fabric of space and time by accepting employ. Or maybe I’d just be able to buy a new pair of jeans. The latter is probably more likely.

Off I go to rip a whole in the very fabric of space and time. And eat some green pea soup. Enjoy your doom.



Haphazardly thrown together by Surly
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