Surly Snobby

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

My Future Husband

In a comment below I alluded to the fact that I’m getting married. Yes, you read right. I am getting married. I can do this, you see, because I live in the province of Ontario, North America’s first constituency to extend full marriage rights to same-sex couples, joined soon after by British Columbia and Quebec (which was actually the first to mandate it; Quebec’s track was to wait for the federal government to legislate it, but it abandoned that approach after Ontario and BC legislated it first), and now Massachusetts. Unlike what may happen in Massachusetts, however, there is little likelihood that homophobic legislation will annul same-sex marriages that have already taken place up here on the tundra. * knock on wood *spit three times on the ground*

But I digress. As I mentioned, I am getting married! My husband’s name is Ajay and he looks like this. He is handsome and strong. His hobbies include car repair, fish-gutting, and shirtless grape-eating (him, not the grapes; well technically, the grapes don’t have shirts either). I like his shirtless grape-eating the best. He is employed, being a successful model and has even done a few Bollywood flicks too. So he’ll support me as my comet-like writing career gets off the ground. As you can see, he’s practically perfect in every way. Don’t we make a beautiful couple?

But he lives in Mumbai and I live in Toronto. This is a significant impediment to our love. Another significant impediment to our love is that he has absolutely no idea who I am. Yet another significant impediment to our love is the fact that he appears to be straight. These factors may make our actual marriage ceremony somewhat awkward, not to mention the wedding night. But as soon as we set a date, you’re all invited. I’ll post a registry in the next couple of days.

Haphazardly thrown together by Surly
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