Surly Snobby

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Contractually Bound

[Much of this post is now moot since I've switched back to my former template]

Ferocious Cell phone / Image Hosted by ImageShack.usThe new look is not really a political statement, but if you wish to view it as one...

I was bored. Also, I enjoyed with raptures conversation in the style of last week's federal leaders debate with four decidedly unfriendly staff members of my cell phone provider that left me feeling impotent and weak. The point of contention was my old (foreshadowing, the sign of a quality blog!) defective cell phone, which they claimed was no longer in service because of “water damage” before they’d even looked at it. Apparently, all of the phones they sell are of such high quality that the only possible reason for defectiveness is water damage. There is no possibility that they be of poor quality.

 Werewolfy, http://www.werewolfpage.com/multimedia/stills/van_helsing.htm ; Image Hosted by ImageShack.usWhen asked the following question, "Well if it’s not water damage [Surly’s first name] – [I loathe it when complete strangers presume to call me by my first name simply because they can see it on a computer screen; I am 33, not 13] – what do you do with it? Play baseball?", Surly’s careened out of "diplomatic", speeding right past "surly", and plunged straight into "ferociously wrathful". It took three shop keeps and the manager to subdue me by that point. I admit my bad temper, but I rarely erupt fully in front of others. It does, however, occur from time to time and those of you have witnessed (or experienced it) can probably picture clearly how events transpired.

But please forgive me for not providing a colourful description. I have no desire to relive too much of the entire event. Suffice it to say that as my phone was no longer under warranty I would have to have it sent for repairs that would take "2 to 8 weeks" (the woman beside me was complaining because hers had been gone for three months and was not yet ready) and the cost would be almost as much as buying a new phone. I was intrigued by the fact that all this occurred not two short months after my old (foreshadowing, the sign of a quality blog!) phone’s warranty had expired and after I had signed a contract with them, locking me into their service. I informed them of this intrigue in various expressive ways.

One long, heated debate, complete with lava flows and calls to "Corporate", and five hundred million thousand dollars later, I left the store with a cloud in my head, an earthquake in my step, a new (admittedly pretty) cell phone that I can’t afford, and a print-out of my address book they salvaged from my old phone, waiving the $10 print-out fee "as a gesture" (such benevolence! Why do you waste your time in this store when you could be negociating peace in the Middle East?). The moral of the story: only sign contracts of any type if you absolutely have to. Signing contracts with service providers eradicates any say you may possibly have as to the service you receive and the quality thereof. It is carte blanch for the provider to treat you as simply the client number as which they so obviously view you. This was also communicated to them as lividly as possible immediately following the financial transaction.

And so feeling used and powerless against the demons of big business (tax their asses off if you win, Jack!), I took my feelings of impotence out on this blog. Do you like the new look? I’ll keep it around for a bit to see if I get used to it. The tiny font against the dark yet busy background of the old look was making me bug-eyed. Any and all comments and suggestions are welcome.

And on a brighter note, my summer has been improved by the discovery of this band thanks to Andy (on whom I would most likely have an enormous crush if we didn’t live appoximately one million zillion kilometres from each other; but we do, so I don’t). Like most of you, I have often wondered what it would sound like if Elton John, the Bee-Gees, the Human League, the New York Dolls, Dexy's Midnight Runners, and a drag queen decided to collaborate. Now I need no longer imagine this wondrous event for the answer is nigh. Plus, the lead singer and drummer are like so totally hot! Buy the album and Torontonians can catch them at Lee’s Palace for only $13 on July 20.

My inanely purchased phone is ringing.



Haphazardly thrown together by Surly
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