Wednesday, July 07, 2004
My Kosher Burrito
That Hot Guy: Why do you speak Hebrew?
Surly: [wanting to discuss tongues other than linguistic ones] Well, my Hebrew is actually quite bad, but I speak it because I started learning it when I was a kid.
That Hot Guy: Oh! You’re Jewish. That explains it.
Surly: [innocently . . . yeah, right! In a fake friendly manner to elicit an elaboration of the statement and with a great big smile] What does that explain?
That Hot Guy: Oh . . . nothing.
I never did find out what that explained. I can therefore only presume that it was a terrible thing not fit for polite conversation, as in "That explains why you look as if you drink the blood of Christian babies." That Hot Guy, who is indeed very hot, is Mexican and although he was the one who opened the conversation to ethnic quips, it wasn’t too difficult to restrain myself from sarcastically asking him where his sombrero was (although I admit that I did think it). My sarcasm would have led to an innacurate picture of my view of Mexicans; always take the high road unless your sarcasm is actually constructive.
Perhaps it was a joke. Certain things however, are just are not funny between two people who don’t know each other all that well. Someone who takes liberties prematurely gives the impression that their jokes are not entirely jokes. And some people are simply offensive, something to which Radmila can attest and that I have dealt with in my usual piffy manner earlier.
Maybe there’s a cultural difference. Recognizing this thorny issue, I didn’t press it. As much amusement as I have being pedantic, I didn’t have any inclination whatsoever to administer a lesson in cultural competency yesterday evening. People must occasionally take a certain amount of responsibility for their words without having their hands held.
So, his words had almost the same effect on me as if he had told me that one of his favourite vacation activities is to club baby seals in Labrador and wear their pelts as thong underwear (now that's an image!). In other words, that is one guy who will definitely never taste my kosher burrito.
Maybe I should do what my Bubbi would have wanted, in a manner of speaking, and forget about all these Christian boys find myself a nice Jewish boy. Therefore, my brand new future husband is cute Israeli singer Eviatar Banai, sort of a straight Rufus Wainright in Hebrew. He, Ajay, Kamron, Justin, and I will be very happy together. But I think I need to find a bigger apartment now.
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